July 9th, 2003:  Last night, at, oh, let's say 12:00 am my time, I was on AIM and IGotNoStyleAtAll came and talked to him.  I think his name is Aki, but that doesn't matter.  It's not a real big part of my story.  Actually, it is, but whatever.  ANYWAY, he told me to go to tetrinet.org.  Said Xander was there.  I nearly had a heart attack.  And at my age, you know that's not a good sign.  Anyhoo, I went and I sat in that room and watched him play.  He didn't say anything.  Didn't comment on my team name.  He just played.  I waited a game before I said anything.  I said, "Xander?" And he said, "Yes?" And I said, not knowing what else to say, "How long have you been playing for?" and he replied, "For about 10 minutes." Well, he didn't actually say it like that... it was more like, "10 min." But it doesn't look as good.  Anyhow, I said, "In your life, silly." And to which he retorted, "Yeah, 10 minutes." I was heart broken.  I was so excited that maybe I would have found my Xander, but I was fooled.  It was just some young newbie who didn't even know how to play pure.  I was tricked.  Damn.  I'll be around for another Xander update next time something happens, but nothing probably will because I waited 2 and a half years for that disappointment.  Damn.

 

      Some of you might have heard about Xander, or about me.  You might wonder why I don't leave my team, or who or what Xander is.  I hope this tale helps you understand better.

 

     The story of Xander, (a boy, a man, a legend... a god) starts off not too long ago, in a far away place... a place called Canada.  The year, why it was the year 2000.  Now, I suppose Xander had been playing for many years, or many months at least.  He was a good fellow, and I thought he was a fantastic player.  Myself, I was a newbie, and he could have been quite terrible, but all I knew was that he could beat me any day.  I was on a struggling, one manned team.  I could only dream of one day being as good as him and of being a part of something bigger... something better.

      I saw Xander quite frequently playing, but I had never approached him.  How could I?  I was only a newb, and I couldn't initiate conversation... those are the rules.  Then, one day, whilst I was playing during my Christmas break, I happened upon a conversation with him.  It was exciting and it was thrilling.  He was really one of the first person I talked to on Tetrinet, it was something I shan't forget.  I don't recall what exactly it was that we talked about; it doesn't matter but what I do know is that something unexpected happened.  Something wonderful.  I think it was that I mentioned my sorrow over the recent reset of the winlist.  I had 75 points, and I had never had so many in my life and I was upset.  He told me he was upset as well.  So many points he lost, he said.  So many I couldn't even comprehend how good he must have been.  It was that day, ladies and gentlemen, that Xander asked me to join his self named team, 'Xander'.  I was honored, and said 'yes' right away.

      I spent the next couple of weeks, though I might be wrong, in my old age, my memory isn't what it used to be.  A couple of weeks, a couple of months, who knows?  All I know is that I had a grand time getting to know Xander and another teammate, ChAoS.

     Now, the last time I remember talking to Xander, I was already back at school, done with my winter vacation.  Apparently he wasn't.  He told me he was going away for a week or so on some trip.  I was crestfallen that I wouldn't see my leader for some time, but I survived.

     Some time (more than 2 weeks) had passed before I realized he was gone.  I was full of doubt and regrets and heart ache.  I didn't even know his real name, his age, if he goes to school, or anything.  Did he just change names because he got sick of me?  Is he secrently laughing at me for staying on his team?  Who knows?  Who cares?  He was gone...

     ChAoS and I started to fight much after it was apparent that Xander hadn't been around for quite sometime.  He didn't think Xander was coming back, and he left the team.  In the weeks that followed, he scoffed me for staying on the team.  Said my talents were going to waste (I had gotten better).  He suggested that I join his team instead.  I declined, of course.

     I got to know the last remaining Xander member, LazieBaby, or rather, Kelly.  Together, in our stubborn loyalty, we kept the team alive.  Recruiting whom we could and trying to stagger alive when all around us the people doubted and made fun.  We didn't let that get us down though.

     Occasionally some joker, usually James, or d[-_-]b would log on with the nickname of Xander.  He would get Kelly and us riled up and excited, but when we quizzed him about the members and the team, he would get the questions wrong, and we would kick him out (I was an Op then).  (Oh, by the way, if you know where James is, tell me as well.  I miss that kid too.)

     And so time went on, reset after reset and I made new friends.  Adam, Tiff, Mandy, Josh and so on.  And they made the pain bearable.  Kelly, after a long time, I think she gave up hope, and moved on to another game, forgetting and leaving me behind. She started playing Counter Strike.  We were together for one glorious year that I shall never forget.

     So here I am, all alone,2 years later, on the same team.  Waiting for Xander's return.  Phinx tells me he isn't coming back, but I don't believe him.  Phinx, or Rob, he was friends with Xander, and I enjoy when he tells me stories about him and their friendship.  It warms my heart.

     I know Xander will come back.  Maybe he is just testing my loyalty or something, I don't know. But I think I passed that test. I keep holding him to his promise he made me.  He promised me that one day we'd play one on one and I'd win.  He had faith in me to be a good player.  He believed in me.  I would win fair and square.  So all this time I've been getting better and playing and playing, in hopes that he will come back and think me worthy enough to play against.  I will win.  I'm not the greatest player, and I shan't ever be, but I keep playing, in hopes that when he returns he is impressed with how much I have improved.

      The day I knew I was good enough to play against him was when a member of the number one team in the server asked me to be on their team.  I was flattered, and I knew I was ready then.  I was ready to face Xander, should he returned.  I declined her generous offer, a little sad, but also happy. 

      And that is my sad tale about Xander.  Some say he was the ring leader of a cult, luring unsuspecting people such as my into his trap to do his bidding, and some, wait, what am I saying, a lot of you will say I am dumb to keep on the team, or that I just have too much time on my hands to have written this, or to keep the legend alive. And you're right. I do have too much time on my hands. Now that that is established, if anyone has any information on Xander, I would love that.

      Thank you.